82: What If

I went to Telok Intan today..
Visiting my friend.. he had an accident..
Sepanjang jalan...!!!
my heart beats so hard when I saw,
the same type of car that he's using.
It's like ALL THE TIME ok..!! gile ape aku ni..
senang cite, g mane2 je takut sgt boleh terserempak..
because I don't know what to say at the moment I saw the person Himself (what if betol2 terjumpe.. gile doh.. sure gile.. mesti aku tunduk je..)
damn..! I hate this kind of feeling..
trying to pursue myself to forget all the things about him..
A friend say:
"dia dah tak suka kau.. jgn terhegeh2 lg la.. lupakan dia.. sayang diri kau sepuashati kau"

but I can't help it..

it against the nature of my true feeling...
that I still miss him, I still love him..
Honestly.. I regret:

'kenapa la tak dari dulu aku luahkan saje perasaan sayang ni tanpa ditahan2.. tak perlu kot poyo nk luahkan dari perlakuan je, bkn dari perkataan.. kire mcm act speak louder than word la..'

bullshit lor.. kerana saat itu dah berlalu..
ayam dah jadi ayam penyet..
hancus segala harapan...